#9: Overcoming perfectionism and burnout: 4 approaches that allowed me to heal (eventually)
Perfectionism and burnout live in the same burning house.
Perfectionism is on the rise. We're fed over-achieving behaviours as normal ways to function in society every day. We're conditioned to strive for the perfect life, career and even appearance. It can have us going to extreme lengths to achieve unrealistic goals.
Unchecked, perfectionism damages self-esteem, creates limiting beliefs and diminishes productivity. The sustained stress can lead to health problems, mental breakdown and burnout.
Burnout is a condition that's hard to cycle out of once you've landed into it. I found myself in a 6-month 'tools-totally-down' burnout in late 2020. I'd pushed myself through at least two smaller burnouts leading up to it; unaware of what I was doing to my long-term health.
Once in it, the physical and mental collapse was debilitating. I remember observing how my mind and body were never in the same room. I didn't have the capacity or energy to do basic things like check my email or do laundry. I read about a woman who stayed in bed with burnout for 2 years and it terrified me.
What to do if you land in perfectionism-induced burnout?
Inform Yourself
Read up as much as you can about the topic. I read a lot online and bought a copy of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. The book addresses perfectionism and people-pleasing behaviours that lead to burnout in women.
Talk About It
I can't stress how important this is. Talking to people about my burnout was hard, but it brought relief and healing. Since the pandemic, people have become more open about this condition and are breaking the stigma around it. Don't suffer alone.
Regulate Your Emotions
Many of us have never learned how to do this, but it's never too late. Notice what you feel, name your emotions and create space to process them. Meditation, mindfulness, breathwork and yoga are good for re-setting you nervous system.
Rest And Relax. It takes time - and then some - to recover. Unravelling your perfectionist behaviours and healing from this ultimate exhaustion is a process. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You will get there.
It took 18 months to recover, but I returned to an 'evolved' version of my usual self. I had new parameters for my true capacity and new respect and appreciation for my body and mind. In my experience, burnout is a journey of lessons deeply learned.
Read all about it
This is a nicely in-depth article about Perfectionism and overcoming ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking. Mindtools.com
If you want to read more about Emotional Regulation, this one unpacks all the layers. Betterup.com
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Thanks for reading.
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