#28: Don’t create for your critics: Banish them and create for yourself
Create for your critics? Who does that? What a silly thing to say!
Well, have you ever actually stopped to think about it and consider if you do?
When you write or create, are you unconsciously steering your word choice, or what you share or choose to express around the responses of your critics?
It’s very hard to create when there are unauthorised commentators running amok in your mind; steering you to do more or less of what they would like you to do, casually munching cold meat and colder criticism sandwiches over your shoulder while you do all the hard work?
They’re there, and if you pay close attention, you can probably find them and name them. They’re people you actually know. Possibly people you even love; and while they may love you back and have your best intentions; you’ve given them all your power.
Not only that, but you’ve abandoned yourself in the process.
I remember when I realised there were two critics in my head; people I had somehow started unconsciously shaping my thoughts and actions around, even when they weren’t there.
I became aware of myself standing outside my body at times, seeing things — seeing me — through their eyes. Hearing their voices — sometimes literally — and what they would likely say about whatever thing I was doing.
They never cheered me on. They seethed and scoffed and sniggered; they made me doubt my thoughts and actions. Ultimately, these voices made me feel small and made me make even smaller decisions.
This wasn’t simply the unconscious ‘me’ holding me back. These were people I had put there and allowed to fester in my mental palace.
I understood how this incessant judgement, projected from the voices of these two people, was an unhealthy adaptation, and their opinions and beliefs would destroy whatever brilliance or authenticity I might have to share with the world.
I needed to not only review those relationships, but review my relationship with myself.
In the end, I did a cord-cutting ceremony; a bit of spiritual voodoo to untangle my psyche from their heavy and affecting energies. But that was just the beginning; it was a starting point of coming into new awareness.
I started asking myself better questions like: where is my negative self-talk coming from? Do I really believe this? But most importantly:
Who am I creating for? When I hear my own voice answer, I know I’m coming from an authentic place.
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