Get married they said! Take his surname, they said! How to change your last name within a year, without losing your mind
Don’t mind me while I celebrate the end of the most admin-filled period of my life: changing my last name. It was a rigorous mission, but I was determined to do it in record time, or at the very least, by the time the clock struck one year of being a wifey. Because the longer you leave it, the more daunting it gets. And it is a rather daunting and uninspiring process to complete…
Welcome to the final leg of the journey; from engagement to marriage and so-called happily ever after; this is the part that nobody talks about, and the final jolt back to reality post wedded bliss: changing your last name in every place you exist.
After hearing one too many stories from friends who took around three years to get this paperwork (ahem, digital nightmare) laboriously sorted, I came upon my approach: get it fucking done already. I couldn’t think of anything worse than spending the next 2–3 years getting my life in order. So I devised an action plan and threw myself in deep — because the only way out is through.
For anyone attempting this in the near future, I’ve compiled a handy how-to-get-this-fucking-done-already guide because nowhere in the world was such a helpful piece of information — even on the over-saturated world wide web — available to make this pain-in-the-ass marathon any easier — and I’m friends with Google, I looked. I managed to do this in just over 10 months, but I’m sure a woman on a mission could get it done in less than six.
This is not an applied science, it’s my own process; hereby unmuddled and how I would have done it, if only I’d known how. This works on the basic assumption that you have decided to change your last name, of course. Not everyone does, but it wasn’t a big deal for me, so I didn’t see it as a major sacrifice or something that I needed time to process. Perhaps this is why I also wanted to hop to it and get it over with.
This also works on the assumption that you have a personal email address, and a separate address for your work email, and that you are merely changing your personal email address, so your workflow won’t be affected. Most of our profiles and accounts are in communication with us over email these days so we get updates, invoices, statements, news and newsletters by every organisation we are signed up to.
Of course, some things fly beneath the radar and you may think of other offline accounts or random things to sort as you go, just jot them down somewhere and slot them in to the step they fit or get to them as and when you can. Random stuff like Airline Miles, e-Bucks, Paypal and other non-obvious or non-priority accounts will come up naturally as you make your way through this process.
So the approach is as follows: Via a process of elimination by email, you can make your way to the other side in good time, with a few smartly-timed admin activities in-between. I hope this helps you get your life in order quickly, I hope this saves you time and allows you to get back to the important things in your first year of marriage; avoiding questions about babies, bickering over whose turn it is to get Uber Eats and generally, looking forward to your future.
I hope this saves you time and allows you to get back to the important things in your first year of marriage; avoiding questions about babies, bickering over whose turn it is to get Uber Eats and generally, looking forward to your future.
It’s an administration jungle out there, but you can do it. Good Luck!
Top-Tip! Before you get started, practice your new signature, you’re going to need it and you don’t want the first time you try it to be while filling-in official forms. I speak from awkward experience! I suggest writing it out a hundred times, at least, until it clicks and feels like your own.
Collect your government-issued marriage certificate, the paperwork should have been sent in by the person or organisation who married you.
Apply for your new ID card, again, before you embark on this procedure — as tempting as it is to avoid Home Affairs at all costs, don’t leave this til later, like I did.
Apply for a new passport at the same time, to minimise your trips to Home Affairs in the near-future, don’t only think of this while in the queue for ID photos, without your passport, like I did.
Change your email address if the address contains your maiden surname because less confusion later on. This is a very important step — you may consider changing it either way in order to achieve this process succinctly or use your own email tagging/filing/folder system.
Mail your friends, family and important contacts about your address change so personal messages start filtering to your new address, and set up an auto-response so each mail that now comes to your old one gets an automated reply that your address has changed — then you don’t have to worry about this again.
Update all your social media pages and profiles to direct mails to your new email address. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Tumblr etc. If you need to change any @ handles, you can do this now.
As you hop on all your social pages to do this, update your surname on the relevant accounts as you go. Congrats, you are now Facebook-officially married!
Update all subscription newsletters and special interest communication mailers (like art galleries, music festivals and the like) to your new email address — or make a point of doing this as they come in from hereon — a good time to unsubscribe to any you don’t really need.
With these filtering out the way, take stock of emails that come in to your old address from other accounts/profiles and note, as they come in, those which will require an updated ID for you to update your details; namely financial, investment, insurance, mobile and web hosting accounts.
Update all digital service accounts, like your apple ID, iTunes, Dropbox, ticketing sites, special interest platforms etc.; any online accounts that don’t require official documentation to update your name and or delivery address.
Then do the same for your local accounts, like your store card accounts, e-commerce sites, your gym, yoga studio and veggie box delivery services; again, local accounts that don’t require official documentation to update your name and delivery address — you will need to come back to these to update your card details later.
You now have a relatively cleared-out old inbox from which to quickly see communications from accounts you may have forgotten. If you’re ocd like me, you will have used this as an opportunity to do a digital inventory of all your accounts and close any you no longer need.
Collect your new ID card, it should take no more than 2 weeks to be ready after application, and you can finally get into the meaty bit.
Scan and make copies of your ID card so you have a digital version and physical versions on hand, if requested or for future use.
Do the same for your marriage certificate and then laminate it — although some institutions require you bring in the original document in order to change your name in person.
If you move around this time, also note which of these accounts need an updated postal and/ residential address, and if renting, request a proof of address document from your letting agency in your new last name.
In order for the letting agency to send you a proof of address, you need to send them your new, updated ID card for proof of name change. This is where your mind starts bending like a pretzel if you’re unprepared.
Now is a good time to ensure your FICA documents are updated and in compliance for smooth transition with your financial accounts. Generally, this will be resolved by updating your bank records.
To change your last name with your bank, take in your proof of address document as well as the full lease agreement from your letting agency, your original, laminated marriage certificate and new ID card.
Get the bank to print and stamp a proof of accounts document with your new last name. Then have them scan a copy of this to you for updating the rest of your accounts or get a local print shop to scan and email it you if your bank doesn’t offer this service.
While at the bank, order new personal and business cards with your new last name to be made up for you — this can take up to a week to process and deliver; once these land in your mitts; activate your new cards and cancel the old ones. You may also pat yourself on the back — the worst of it is over.
Now you can update the remainder of your accounts that require bank-stamped proof of your name change; as previously mentioned these are the big boys — your investment portfolios, insurance accounts, medical aid, mobile service providers and the like.
Once your new bank cards arrive, now is a good time to update your mobile apps, namely the apps that use a photo-copy of your credit card to make mobile payments, such as Snapscan, Zapper, Uber etc.
And finally, you can update your credit or debit card details with the new ones as you make purchases from online stores and auto-renewal or subscription services you use regularly. You can also allow your browser to ‘remember’ them to update these accounts easily as you go.
This is where, for once in your life, a bounced payment can be helpful if you have missed anything. Generally, you will get an email (to your new email address) letting you know your billing info needs to be updated. Pay attention to catch and resolve these quickly so your services are not suspended.
Knock-on effects like needing to wait for your new ID card before you can renew your drivers or car license are difficult to factor in, but this can also happen mid-process and cause annoying and costly strife. Don’t wait until you are 3 fines in before finally getting around to having your car license renewed, like I did. Sigh.
By this point your old email inbox should be relatively quiet, unless, like me, you have a slew of old, interesting subscription mailers that are worth wading through — do this in your newly spare-time and enjoy! And then shut this email account down. Donezies!
If you got this far, you should have pretty slickly converted yourself into a Mrs Whatshername, as far as official and all manner of life-administration is concerned, congratulations! You can now direct your energy and headspace to more satisfying things and hopefully, never have to do this again.
Once and only for love they say! <3
